I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
