I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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