is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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