He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize