What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
