i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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