I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
