Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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