Me. At least after what I've been through.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
