We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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