I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
