the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
