are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
