I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Randomize
