yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
