You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
