Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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