That's intense
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
