Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
