just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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