That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
My life is pants optional.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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