You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
