well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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