she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
