Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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