Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
