Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
