And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Bring me that man meat
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
