ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
