It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
You need Xanax blowdarts
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
