your thong is hanging out like whoa
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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