my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Randomize
