oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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