sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
