3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just sucked dick on a ferry
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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