I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
