that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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