so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
