Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
BRING THE BAGELS
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Randomize
