Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
