Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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