maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
