And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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