Pappa wants mamma naked
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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