i already hear my dad disowning me
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
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