i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
