This is not my ceiling
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
