We're facebook friends in real life
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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