Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
