Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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