Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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