We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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