hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
