Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
