..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
