I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
and you fell through a lawn chair
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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