i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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