At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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