That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
