have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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