to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
he had hair everywhere except his balls
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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