I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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