i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize